Of course I’m not laughing at you! I would never! The whole of Hobbiton would hate me, and you might call Gandalf to do that thing where he makes the room go dark and thundery. That would be terrifying!
I can’t help it. I know you’re the enemy and you don’t even want a hug right now because you need to ground your bat so you won’t get run out, but the magnetism of your beard is a force stronger than both of us.
They’re fucking with us, right? They’re going to bring the real one out any minute now? There’s no way…come on, look at it! It’s like someone took a bunch of LSD and then watched half of Avatar and half of a porn and then drew a sketch before passing out for four days.